Beyond the Illusion of Self: Discovering the Eternal You Beneath the Pain
- Ben Neil
- Oct 17
- 3 min read
Since the beginning of time, humanity has searched for identity. We long to know who we are and where we belong. Yet in this pursuit, we often trap ourselves within the stories we tell about our lives. We define ourselves by past failures, heartbreaks, and the mistakes that once brought us pain. We carry them like badges, introducing ourselves through the lens of what went wrong or what we have endured. These stories become the walls that contain us, shaping how we see the world and how we believe the world sees us. But beneath these layers of story and self-judgment lies something eternal and unchanging, waiting to be remembered.
When we look deeply, we begin to realize that we are not our past. We are not our experiences, our achievements, or our losses. These are moments within the great unfolding of our existence, but they do not define us. They are the waves upon the surface of a vast ocean, while our true essence is the still, boundless depth beneath. Yet we continue to filter our perception through the lens of old pain and self-judgment, creating a distorted version of reality. We see the world not as it truly is, but as a reflection of the wounds we have not yet healed.
The ancient sages and mystics understood this truth. They taught that we are not our bodies, nor the experiences we have within them. Our true selves exist on a higher plane of consciousness beyond the physical world. We are the observer, the one who watches the story unfold. Imagine watching a film that stirs your emotions, makes you laugh, cry, and feel deeply connected to its characters.
For a time, you forget you are sitting in a theater. Yet when the lights come on, you remember that you were never truly inside the story. You were only witnessing it. Life works the same way. We become absorbed in the drama, forgetting that we are not the character, but the consciousness observing the scene.
From an eternal perspective, this truth becomes even clearer. It is likely that we have lived many lifetimes, played countless roles, and experienced an infinite range of joys and sorrows. Each lifetime is another act in the grand play of existence, another chance to awaken a little more. The soul takes on new forms and new lessons, yet the essence behind it all remains unchanged. If we were to carry every story, every failure, and every identity from one lifetime to the next, we would drown beneath the weight of it all. Forgetting is not a flaw in the system. It is grace. It allows the soul to begin anew, to experience without being defined by what came before.
The mystics taught that our suffering comes from becoming too attached to the roles we play. We cling to identities that were never meant to be permanent. We confuse the mask with the actor and lose sight of the eternal self behind it. And yet, through the very act of playing these roles, we are given the chance to awaken. The key is detachment. To live fully within the experience without becoming lost in it. To participate in the play of life while remembering that it is just that — a play.
True healing begins when we stop identifying with the stories that bind us. When we release the judgments we hold against ourselves and others, we free the soul to remember its boundless nature. Deep healing is not about becoming someone new. It is about letting go of who we are not. When we surrender our need to cling, we return to the truth that has always been within us. We are eternal, limitless, and free. The experiences of this life are not who we are — they are the stage upon which our divine essence learns to shine.
If these words speak to your heart, I invite you to step into the journey through my books — The Initiate, The Initiate: Remembering, Synchronicity: Illuminating Your Destined Path, and Mindfulness: The First Step to Reconnecting With Your Soul. May their pages remind you that you are never alone, and that your path — no matter how winding — has always been leading you home.
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